Reversal
by Kuro Angales
Summary: A dark Lina/Zel fic that is a downward sprial of confusion and angst. Swearing and abuse in this fic...


Author's Notes: This fic is extremely strange and dark. I have no idea where any of this came from but it so odd... I thought I'd put it up.

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Reversal

Lina walked down the steps of the inn she had been resting in. Paying the clerk with a ruby, she walked over to the dining section of the inn. Just as she sat down, she saw the tail end of a familiar cloak disappear out the door. 'Zel....' 

It had been a long while since she had seen any of the gang. It was over a year ago when they all split up. Lina and Gourry were talking one night, and that ended it all...

__

They had been sitting around the campfire while the others were sleeping. Everyone had been talking about their plans for the rest of their lives. _Zelgadiss was going to continue looking for his cure, Amelia was going to spread peace and justice while being the ruler of Sayrun_e, _Filia talked of opening an antique shop and taking care of Valgaav, Lina said she would continue exploring the world. Gourry's answer frightened her though._

"I'm gonna stay with Lina."

Filia giggled, Amelia talked of how wonderful it was, Zel shrugged, and Lina... just blinked for a moment. She had no idea how to take that until later...

"Lina? Can I walk to you for a moment?" Gourry had said after the others were asleep.

"Sure Gourry. What is it?" Lina's nervousness was very apparent that night.

__

Gourry tilted Lina's head up. "Would you... stay with me also? I would like to settle down and maybe.. have a nice home.. with you.." A loud slap was heard throughout the area.

Lina backed up and froze. _She didn't know why that question had brought such a violent response.. it just did. In all her wondering, she had gotten used to the idea that Gourry was always gonna be there, but not in that way. At first she was drawn to him and she was in love with him for a while_,_ but that phase of her life was over. She had always been in love with someone else. Someone who would understand her better and was just like her on the inside. _

"Couldn't you have asked me that SOONER! I can't believe you have the nerve to ask that kind of question NOW! What am I supposed to do? Can you really see us living together!?!" Her ranting had woken up the entire group but they stayed silent for fear of a fireball.

"Well.. yeah I..," Gourry still sounded completely clueless of why she was angry.

"What are we supposed to talk about! You barely remember who Shabranigdo is of any of the people we fought! I don't want to listen to you talk about why spot can run! I refuse to deal with this!"

"Fine! And for your information, I got to book... um... TWO!!! Find Spot!" Gourry's attempt to defend himself was even more pathetic than if he had run away.

"That's it!!! I'm outta here! I hope to here from you guys at some later date!" She wasn't thinking straight as she raywinged up above the trees. Xellos had appeared and opened his mouth to say something quirky when she shoved a pine cone into it. Her whole heart had been ripped open from long healed wounds. 

Lina was eighteen now and her body had finally matured into something that resembled a well bred woman. Her mind however was completely chaotic with spells and old feelings rattling around in her head. When she had left Gourry, Lina had also left the one she loved. He did follow her for a while, but she was so torn up that she avoided him. Eventually, she felt the man's presence leave her and that was how it had been for the past year.

Seeing that cloak was making those memories resurface and it hurt her still bleeding heart. Jumping up from the table, she ran out the door after the cloaked man. She had lost sight of him from going over those memories in her head. Then she felt it, the aura. Raywinging without a care, she followed her senses and ended up traveling to a forest.

The forest was similar to the one that she and Zelgadiss had fought Rezo in. This brought back more memories that she pushed aside. This was not the time to be distracted. And then, she lost it, The aura was fading and she was completely lost. Seeing a fire up ahead, she flew towards it. The fast pace of her search making her breathing ragged and her body tired caused her to land and walk towards the fire.

"Lina, I'm surprised to see you here," a voice said from the clearing. It was Zelgadiss sitting in front of the fire. Lina walked towards him cautiously, for fear he might yell at her for hurting Gourry. She sat down on the rock next to him and noticed his eyes did not turn from the fire. "This isn't like you. I don't remember you ever being afraid of me."

The empty and depressed words shocked Lina a little. Zelgadiss was still a chimera and she figured he might get a little depressed on his quest, but the words were so empty. Like she was talking to a shell of the man she once knew. "W-why do you think I'm afraid?"

"You're shaking. It's mid-summer," Zel stated dully, his eyes never leaving the fire.

"Sorry.. I just didn't know how you would react to seeing me again after I-," Lina stopped when Zelgadiss held up his hand.

"Gourry married Silphiel and they are very happy."

"Well... its nice to know he's happy," Lina said lightly and shivered at Zelgadiss's dead tone again. She moved a little closer to the fire and started to warm her hands. This whole situation was freezing her insides. "Why aren't you with-"

"Amelia married a young man from Sairaag."

Lina's eyes went wide in shock for a moment, but then they returned to normal. 'Maybe this is why he's so depressed also..' She stared into the fire and noticed it was only one color, the same color as her hair. "So.... are you-"

"No."

"Zel! Will you stop answering my questions before I finish! It's very hard to talk to some who acts like a rock!" She said the words without thinking. It was a big mistake.

"If you haven't noticed, I AM A FUCKING ROCK!!" Zelgadiss's eyes flared red and he stood up abruptly. "Do you even know why I'm still a fucking rock!?!"

Lina was scared of him for the second time that night. "Because you haven't found a cure? Maybe I could help you again and we could..."

"You help me! That's a joke! When have you ever done anything for someone without an ulterior motive!" Zel was stomping around as he screamed.

"Well I! I! Oh my god...." All her 'good deeds' flowed through her mind and shattered in front of her. Nothing. She had done nothing for anyone else. When she saved the world, it was also for herself. 

Zelgadiss glared at her, not a bit satisfied with his deed. In truth, he looked even more hurt because of it. "I have found my cure. But it comes from someone who won't even allow their true feelings to show through. And now I am destroying that person." 

The words Zelgadiss was staying had an odd effect on her. Her body was shutting down as if under a spell. Lina was still shaking in shock when Zelgadiss held her in his arms. Her body temperature was dropping rapidly and he was starting to get worried, after warming her with a weak fireball, Zel placed her down beside him again.

"Why did you do that?" Lina's voice sounded like his now: empty. 

"To show you the truth. I also couldn't stand to see you die. Not that you would care. You have no value in your own life anymore."

"How do you know that!" Lina was furious. First he insulted her, then he almost killed her, and now he saved her only to insult her again.

"Because I know you better than you think. I know how you feel inside, because I feel the same way. You and I refuse to admit it.. or at least.. I refuse to..." His eyes returned to the flames and a long period of silence spanned between them. Lina was having a hard time of what to say to a person as confusing as Zelgadiss was being.

"What the hell is so interesting with that single colored flame!"

"It reminds me of you," Zelgadiss said with deep longing in his voice.

A guilty feeling ran through Lina again. 'This is just like Gourry.. is he playing with me just to get back at me for what I did.. to Gourry..' Another moment of silence and Lina decided to ask him a personal question. "Why did you destroy the one who would give you your cure. Were you that afraid of it?"

"Yes." His voice sounded resolved and yet it held a hint of sadness. "Because it required devotion from one who cannot give it. A girl with fiery red hair and eyes. The only one who could look upon me as a person and not a monster..."

The guilt was consuming her and she knelt to the ground. "Stop it..," she said as Zel continued to describe her in detail. "STOP IT!!" Her body was shaking again with rage. "I told you I couldn't cure you! What is your fucking problem! How in the nine hells could I know your cure damn it!"

"When I was with you.... that was my cure.. because you didn't see me this way." Getting up slowly, Zelgadiss got up and started to leave Lina with the dying fire. A few black ravens flew into the trees above them and looked down, as if passing judgment.

"You're just like Gourry," she said bitterly in his direction. "You say you love me in some cryptic way and then you don't stay with me. You allow me the freedom to freak out, only you know that I will freak out. I don't know what game you are trying to play, but I'm not going to be afraid this time." 

Zelgadiss froze in place as Lina cast a shadow snap on him. She put out the fire and silently approached him. Taking out a small dagger, she cast a spell on it and stabbed his arm. He cried out in pain as she ripped a small stone out of his skin. Casting a light spell, she held up the small stone in front of his face. "Am I still the person you think I am?" The light shined brightly onto her face, revealing her red cat eyes just as Xellos appeared from behind a tree.

"My my Lina, you are being very selfish tonight. I told you to wait for me and we could torture him together if you ever found him again."

"Back off Xellos. He's mine!" Lina's eyes turned gold as she glared at the priest.

"Now Lina, wasn't it me you came crying to when you couldn't deal with your little lover boy here?" His eyes slid open as he approached the two.

Zelgadiss trembled as Lina started to cast a spell silently. When Xellos was in range she smirked. "And it was you who was stupid enough to think I couldn't gain more power." Xellos didn't even have time to phaze out as a blot of nightmare magic sliced through him and slowly dissolved his body. 

"Lina.. why did you..." Zelgadiss said in a shaky voice. He had lost complete control of the situation he thought he created.

"I have made many mistakes in my life that I hoped to forget. Then you came back. The last person I needed to see after I had created my new life for myself. I wanted to forget all of my friends.. especially you.." Her words were bitter as tears ran down her face. The slits in her eyes were starting to turn back to normal as the spell holding Zelgadiss faded. Lina was falling and he caught her with flesh colored arms. "I loved you... and I killed myself after you stopped following me... I allowed myself to work for Xellos and to one day get revenge on you... for leaving me... but now my cursed life is becoming undone...."

Zelgadiss started to cry as he saw Lina's life drifting away in his arms. "Why didn't you ever approach me...."

Lina was still lost in her own world. "You were always so interested in Amelia... always talking about her... protecting her...."

"Because you always were talking about Gourry.... I thought I could love someone else... but there was only you..."

"Enjoy your mortality Zelgadiss Graywords... for now you are mortal.... just like I was.... love you...." Lina's body faded in Zelgadiss's human arms and he stayed hugging what was left of her until there was nothing. He got up and plunged his sword into his chest. His cure was not what he had hoped it to be as he lay dying in the place that Lina had disappeared from the world.

But this was the way it was in the world of the God Shabranigdo and the Demon Lord Cepheed.......


End file.
